the best movies never made

[kaijudirector]

Cars 2 (2011)
The surprisingly darker and more mature sequel to Cars.

• No, it won’t be a spy movie, at least not in the mold of the OTL.
• It’s more of a racing corruption story ala the 2008 Speed Racer.
• Allinol is still part of the plot, but instead the Lemons use it to help fix the outcome of the races in their favor so they can make a profit.
• Finn McMissile and Holley Shiftwell aren’t spies, but racing investigators.
• Lightning McQueen and Mater are co-opted into helping the investigation after Lightning suffers a bad crash in the Tokyo race thanks to the bad Allinol. Mater saves Lightning and got into contact with Finn and Holley.
• The twist of Sir Axelrod being the mastermind is retained.
• ITTL, the movie will still make a profit but intial criticism will point out that the plot is probably too complex and dark by Pixar’s standards. However, later reappraisals will say that the darker plot and mature themes were actually a good call.

 

[LAHistorian15]

Clue (2025)

Directed By:

Rian Johnson​

​

Staring:

Major Roles:​

Owen Wilson as Inspector Edgar Brown​

Katy O’Brian as Sergeant Alexis Gray​

Scarlett Johansson as Miss Vivienne Scarlet​

David Harbour as Colonel Michael Mustard​

Michelle Yeoh as Doctor Diana White​

Oscar Isaac as Mayor John Green​

Tina Fey as Solicitor Patricia Peacock​

Mark Ruffalo as Professor Peter Plum​

Tom Hiddleston as Wadsworth the Butler​

Minor Roles:​

Johnny Depp as Mister Boden “Boddy” Black​

Margot Robbie as Yvette the Maid​

Octavia Spencer as The Cook​

Pedro Pascal as The Motorist​

Jeffrey Wright as The Cop​

Hailee Steinfeld as The Singing Telegram Girl​

Plot:
The film begins with the police arriving at Hill House Manor, the home of the recently murdered millionaire Mister Boden “Boddy” Black, who, along with the bodies of five other victims, are taken. The scene is cleared off from the public as the noteworthy Inspector Edgar Brown arrives on the scene and meets with the recently promoted Sergeant Alexis Gray. The two discuss the seven likely suspects, Miss Vivienne Scarlet, Colonel Michael Mustard, Doctor Diana White, Mayor John Green, Solicitor Patricia Peacock, Professor Peter Plum, and Wadsworth the Butler who were the only ones present at the manor the previous night during a dinner party. As they await the autopsy reports of the victims, they begin interviewing the suspects who all give accounts of their movements during the night who all give similar and differentiating accounts of several events that occurred during the party. The broad account is accepted as: the guests arrive, they eat dinner, they are taken to the lounge to discuss something important with Mister Boddy, Mister Boddy is murdered, and they search the manor for the murderer while they wait for the police to arrive in the morning as further shenanigans and murders ensue. The majority of the film is told through flashbacks with breaks between them as a new suspect is introduced, a new clue is found in the manor, a new murder weapon is discovered, etc. The film ends with Inspector Brown receiving the autopsy reports of the victims who proceeds to detail the true events of the evening and revealing the true identity of the murderer who is arrested in one of three crazy endings.

Conclusion:
The film would be a financial and critical success with one critic calling it, “Hilariously funny with a well thought out plot that keeps the audience on their toes until the final curtain call.” There would be rumors of a potential standalone sequel in the years following the film’s release which would follow a new, original cast of suspects, however, no official announcement has been made.

 

[Plateosaurus]

Die Hard Alone (1995)

• Directed by Renny Harlin

John McClane and Kevin McAllister cross paths when their respective families marry. However, at the hotel where they are staying, thieves with ties to the Wet Bandits come in, and both John and Kevin team up to thwart them.

Recieved mixed reviews, but often regarded as a pretty good conclusion for both characters.

 

[CaesarKhan]

Veni (2012)
Vidi (2014)
&
Vici (2016)​

Directed By:

Ridley Scott​

Starring:

Julius Caesar - Stephen Dillane​

Octavian - Daniel Radcliffe ​

Mark Antony - Robert Pattinson​

Pompey - Russell Crowe​

Crassus - Ralph Fiennes​

Cato - Hugh Laurie ​

Vercingetorix - Damian Lewis​

Cicero - David Thewlis​

Cassius - Marton Csokas​

Brutus - Michael Sheen​

​

Cleopatra - Gal Gadot ​

Julia - Anya Taylor-Joy ​

Cornelia - Sofia Vergara ​

Pompeia - Ana de Armas ​

Calpurnia - Natalie Portman​

Synopsis:

(Dillane, pictured in the scene where he is informed of Julia's death.)
​

A Historical-Epic trilogy recounting of the life of Julius Caesar, showing his rise and eventual fall. Ridley Scott directs with Stephen Dillane in the titular role, each film focusing on a different chapter in the characters life.

The first film, 'Veni', takes place roughly from 59-52 BC, focusing on the first triumvirate and the conquest of Gaul; Damian Lewis's Vercingetorix was the films primary antagonist. The second, 'Vidi', takes place roughly from 52-48 BC, focusing on the breakdown of the triumvirate and the early stages of the civil war, culminating in the death of Pompey, played by Russell Crowe. The final installment, 'Vici', takes place roughly from 48-44 BC, focusing on the end of the civil war and Caesar's eventual assassination. The films primary antagonist is Cato, switching to Brutus following the priors defeat.

The films are regarded as some of Scott's best work, a high bar given his catalogue, and went on to win countless awards in various areas.

Perhaps most notable is the grey morality portrayed in the films, showing Caesar as not a clear-cut hero and his enemies as villains, but instead each simply individuals with conflicting ideologies or goals. For example, many point to the films as the main reason for their support of the Roman republican cause, those having been the media that opened them up the intricacies of the situation.

 

[WotanArgead]

Метод Станиславского
(Stanislavski's Method, 2018)

Soviet comedy melodrama directed by Dmitry Dyachenko. The plot tells the story of Svetlana Koroleva, a young but talented theater actress who received one of the main roles in the upcoming film. Respected by the crew, she faces an obstacle in the form of her co-star Kairat (known as "Kai") Shukenov, a pop singer from Kazakhstan popular among young girls. If Sveta is modest and is used to completely focusing on her role, then Kai suffers from star fever. He is rude and arrogant with his colleagues, does not give his best on the set, and is ready to interrupt work at the slightest provocation. This behavior gets on her nerves, and as a result, the “on-screen lovers” often quarrel. The situation is aggravated by the fact that, as it turns out, Sveta Koroleva can sing, and the management plans to release a record with songs from the film, which angers Kai, who believes that Svetlana does not take his profession seriously. Gradually, however, their conflict develops into a romance between them.

The picture was watched by a total of more than 59 million viewers, and became the highest-grossing film of 2018. According to polls, the leading actors (Dinmukhammed Kudaibergenov and Yulia Peresild) were recognized as “Best Actor” and “Best Actress”. The film is interesting in that it largely focuses on the cliches of Korean television dramas (which became popular in the USSR during the 2010s), and also highlights the division between two acting traditions in the Union - the old guard of theater school graduates, and the new mass recruitment of actors from among the pop stars and rock musicians.

Dinmuhammed Kudaibergenov as Kairat "Kai" Shukenov

Yulia Peresild as Svetlana Koroleva

(showed a photo, because I don’t think they are particularly well known in the Anglosphere)

 

[kaijudirector]

The Untouchables (1987)
The true story of Eliott Ness and Frank J. Wilson's war against Al Capone.

Basically a more accurate version of the OTL movie. Cast is largely the same despite a few character changes and Sean Connery still gets his Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

Cast
Kevin Costner as Eliott Ness
Sean Connery as Frank J. Wilson
Bob Hoskins as Al Capone
Andy Garcia as Marion A.R. King
Charles Martin Smith as Elmer L. Irey
Robert DeNiro as Frank Loesch
Billy Drago as William Jennings Gardner

 

[gladiator8085]

March

After the success of Unbroken, the story of the Bataan death march was told. The movie begins with news of the attack on PH, followed by the attack on the Philippines. The movie showed the errors made by MacArthur and the retreat to Corregidor. The movie showed the heroism of the Filipinos who assisted Americans to escape and join the resistance.

 

[kaijudirector]

The Hobbit (2000)
The Hobbit films, but the filler is severely cut down. Instead of being a trilogy, it becomes a four-hour movie split into two ala Kill Bill. Some notable changes...
- No Tauriel.
- Azog's sole appearance will be kept to a flashback and is already dead by the present time of the movie. Bolg takes his place. Bolg's presence however is cut down, but he will appear again for the last battle.
- Glorfindel will appear with a young Aragorn in a cameo and guide the dwarves to Rivendell.
- Some of the Necromancer subplot is kept, and we do get the White Council's duel against Sauron. This is to better tie in with the LOTR trilogy.
- Sauron will be namedropped by Gandalf when he tries to keep up the good armies together when the Orcs and Goblins arrive.
- Thorondor and Gwalir are specifically named as the eagles who save Thorin's company.
- At one point, one of the dwarves will ask why they can't take the Eagles to Erebor. Gwalir responds by saying that they dare not wake Smaug.
- The prologue and epliogue with Elijah Wood as Frodo will be kept.

Cast
Martin Freeman as young Bilbo Baggins
Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey
Richard Armitage as Thorin II Oakenshield
Graham McTavish as Dwalin
Ken Stott as Balin
Aidan Turner as Kíli
Dean O'Gorman as Fíli
Mark Hadlow as Dori
Jed Brophy as Nori
Adam Brown as Ori
John Callen as Óin
Peter Hambleton as Glóin
William Kircher as Bifur
James Nesbitt as Bofur
Stephen Hunter as Bombur
John Tui as Bolg
Lee Pace as Thranduil
Cate Blanchett as Galadriel
Hugo Weaving as Elrond
Benedict Cumberbatch as Glorfindel / Gwalir
Orlando Bloom as Legolas
Luke Evans as Bard the Bowman
Christopher Lee as Saruman the White / Smaug
Sylvester McCoy as Radagast the Brown
Billy Connolly as Dáin II Ironfoot
Mikael Persbrandt as Beorn
Stephen Fry as Master of Lake-town
Manu Bennett as Azog the Defiler
John Howard as Sauron / The One Ring
Andy Serkis as Gollum / Smeagol
Barry Humphries as The Great Goblin
Viggo Mortensen as Thorondor
Henry Mortensen as Aragorn
Ian Holm as Old Bilbo Baggins
Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins

 

[Driftless]

The Hobbit (2000)
The Hobbit films, but the filler is severely cut down. Instead of being a trilogy, it becomes a four-hour movie split into two ala Kill Bill. Some notable changes...
- No Tauriel.
- Azog's sole appearance will be kept to a flashback and is already dead by the present time of the movie. Bolg takes his place. Bolg's presence however is cut down, but he will appear again for the last battle.
- Glorfindel will appear with a young Aragorn in a cameo and guide the dwarves to Rivendell.
- Some of the Necromancer subplot is kept, and we do get the White Council's duel against Sauron. This is to better tie in with the LOTR trilogy.
- Sauron will be namedropped by Gandalf when he tries to keep up the good armies together when the Orcs and Goblins arrive.
- Thorondor and Gwalir are specifically named as the eagles who save Thorin's company.
- At one point, one of the dwarves will ask why they can't take the Eagles to Erebor. Gwalir responds by saying that they dare not wake Smaug.
- The prologue and epliogue with Elijah Wood as Frodo will be kept.

Cast
Martin Freeman as young Bilbo Baggins
Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey
Richard Armitage as Thorin II Oakenshield
Graham McTavish as Dwalin
Ken Stott as Balin
Aidan Turner as Kíli
Dean O'Gorman as Fíli
Mark Hadlow as Dori
Jed Brophy as Nori
Adam Brown as Ori
John Callen as Óin
Peter Hambleton as Glóin
William Kircher as Bifur
James Nesbitt as Bofur
Stephen Hunter as Bombur
John Tui as Bolg
Lee Pace as Thranduil
Cate Blanchett as Galadriel
Hugo Weaving as Elrond
Benedict Cumberbatch as Glorfindel / Gwalir
Orlando Bloom as Legolas
Luke Evans as Bard the Bowman
Christopher Lee as Saruman the White / Smaug
Sylvester McCoy as Radagast the Brown
Billy Connolly as Dáin II Ironfoot
Mikael Persbrandt as Beorn
Stephen Fry as Master of Lake-town
Manu Bennett as Azog the Defiler
John Howard as Sauron / The One Ring
Andy Serkis as Gollum / Smeagol
Barry Humphries as The Great Goblin
Viggo Mortensen as Thorondor
Henry Mortensen as Aragorn
Ian Holm as Old Bilbo Baggins
Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins

Love it! This is the way it should have been done.

Also, love the role switches for Cumberbaitch, Lee, and the Mortensons

 

[Plateosaurus]

After the success of Unbroken, the story of the Batman death march was told.

... Interesting Elseworlds idea/joke.

 

[kaijudirector]

The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)
Pretty much the same, with some changes...
(Asterisks to incicate these come up in the Extended Editions)

Fellowship

• The deleted scene of Sauron using his blood to forge the ring is kept.
• The opening battle takes place at Dagorlad instead of Gorogoth.
• The deaths of Gil-Galad and Anarion are kept, and there are some Dwarven soldiers in the opening battle.
• The opening is slightly altered to emphasize the fact that Barad-dur was besiged after Sauron's defeat.*
• A scene of Minas Morgul and the Towers of the Teeth being built by Isildur is added, to hint at their further corruption.*
• The scene from the book where Sam buys Bill the Pony from Bill Ferny is kept.
• It's both Glorfindel and Arwen who find Aragorn and the Hobbits after Weathertop, though it's Arwen who carries Frodo across the rapids.
• Elrond's "cast it into the fire" flashback is cut, but his rant about the failings of Men stays.
• However Gandalf fires back with this.*
• Boromir's entrance is closer to the book: his horse dies upon reaching Rivendell.
• Bilbo attends the council of Elrond.
• Gimli openly asks why can't they fly to Mordor. Gandalf immediately rebukes him by saying Sauron would see it coming and the eagles themselves would be corrupted as well.
• Boromir blows his horn before the Fellowship leaves Rivendell as per the book.*
• Saruman makes a cameo in the Mirror of Galadriel sequence given that he’s responsible for the Scouring of the Shire in the book.
• Galadriel presenting the Fellowship with gifts is kept in the theatrical edition.
• The canceled scene of Mordor orcs chasing the Fellowship down the rapids of the Anduin is kept.

Towers

• Sam is a bit less spiteful than the movie, and Frodo is a bit less trusting of Gollum but still is kind to Smeagol.
• Theoden does flee to Helm’s Deep under Gandalf’s advice, as per the book.
• Haldir and the Elves do not appear.
• Erkenbrand makes an appearance as the of the Helm’s Deep garrison.
• The lost scene of Eoywn protecting the women and children in the Glittering Caves is kept.
• Gimli also manages to aid her.
• Because of this, he finally gets to give his legendary monologue regarding the caves from the book.
• Faramir is a lot less antagonistic than in the movie, though hints of his inner conflict are still there. He does still take the hobbits to Osgiliath however.
• Smeagol is almost killed during the siege by a maddened Frodo and this is what causes Gollum to take control.

King

• Saruman’s death is kept for the theatrical cut.
• There is a scene of Denethor using the Minas Tirith Palantir.*
• The Grey Company, Elrond, Glorfindel, Haldir, and his sons appear at Edoras before the beacons are lit.
• Here Aragorn is given Anduril.
• Elrond gives a speech saying that it is time for old alliances to be reforged in order to convince Theoden to save Gondor.
• It works, and just as the news that the beacons are lit, the order to muster the Rohirrim is given.
• Rammas Echor, the large wall surrounding Minas Tirith, is kept.
• The Druedain from the books help lead the Rohirrim to Minas Tirith.*
• Frodo does not dismiss Sam on the walk up Cirith Ungol.
• However, Sam does get tempted by the Ring.*
• Aragon and the Grey Company walk the Paths of the Dead together.
• The King of the Dead makes it very clear to Aragorn that even he and his army cannot hold off Sauron forever even if they fight.
• After getting the Army of the Dead’s aid, Aragorn and the Grey Company rescue Imrahil of Dol-Aramoth from the Corsairs of Umbar. The latter thus joins Aragorn’s relief army.
• Gandalf is not defeated by the Witch-King.
• Instead of being purely Mumakil, the Harad army is also made up of cavalry.
• Aragorn still releases the Army of the Dead at the Pelennor Fields.
• Aragorn does not enter the city of Minas Tirith early as per the book, so the Houses of Healing sequence takes place outside the city.*
• Eoywn and Faramir’s meeting is kept for the theatrical cut.
• As Aragorn’s army passes through Ithilien, Legolas wonders at how beautiful the land must have been before Sauron’s resurgence. Imrahil notes it was, which hints at Legolas’ later title of Prince of Ithilien.*
• Aragorn’s army camping at the Morannon Slag-Hills is kept and forms a part of their strategy.
• The Mouth of Sauron sequence is kept for the theatrical cut. The Mouth manages to give the leaders of the West Sauron’s terms of submission, which they reject handily,
• Aragon does not kill the Mouth, Gandalf gives his glorious rebuke from the book instead.
• The rest of the surviving Fellowship, plus Arwen, Faramir and Eowyn, join the Hobbits in bidding farewell to Frodo, Gandalf, and Bilbo.
• Glorfindel and Haldir are also at the Grey Havens to depart for Valinor.
• The epilogues involving Legolas, Gimli, Eowyn Faramir is kept, just before Sam’s return to Rosie and his children. *

NOTE: Because of the earlier Hobbit film, Peter Jackson will delay working on King Kong until 2008.

 

[Driftless]

The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)
Pretty much the same, with some changes...
(Asterisks to incicate these come up in the Extended Editions)

Fellowship

• The deleted scene of Sauron using his blood to forge the ring is kept.
• The opening battle takes place at Dagorlad instead of Gorogoth.
• The deaths of Gil-Galad and Anarion are kept, and there are some Dwarven soldiers in the opening battle.
• The opening is slightly altered to emphasize the fact that Barad-dur was besiged after Sauron's defeat.*
• A scene of Minas Morgul and the Towers of the Teeth being built by Isildur is added, to hint at their further corruption.*
• The scene from the book where Sam buys Bill the Pony from Bill Ferny is kept.
• It's both Glorfindel and Arwen who find Aragorn and the Hobbits after Weathertop, though it's Arwen who carries Frodo across the rapids.
• Elrond's "cast it into the fire" flashback is cut, but his rant about the failings of Men stays.
• However Gandalf fires back with this.*
• Boromir's entrance is closer to the book: his horse dies upon reaching Rivendell.
• Bilbo attends the council of Elrond.
• Gimli openly asks why can't they fly to Mordor. Gandalf immediately rebukes him by saying Sauron would see it coming and the eagles themselves would be corrupted as well.
• Boromir blows his horn before the Fellowship leaves Rivendell as per the book.*
• Saruman makes a cameo in the Mirror of Galadriel sequence given that he’s responsible for the Scouring of the Shire in the book.
• Galadriel presenting the Fellowship with gifts is kept in the theatrical edition.
• The canceled scene of Mordor orcs chasing the Fellowship down the rapids of the Anduin is kept.

Towers

• Sam is a bit less spiteful than the movie, and Frodo is a bit less trusting of Gollum but still is kind to Smeagol.
• Theoden does flee to Helm’s Deep under Gandalf’s advice, as per the book.
• Haldir and the Elves do not appear.
• Erkenbrand makes an appearance as the of the Helm’s Deep garrison.
• The lost scene of Eoywn protecting the women and children in the Glittering Caves is kept.
• Gimli also manages to aid her.
• Because of this, he finally gets to give his legendary monologue regarding the caves from the book.
• Faramir is a lot less antagonistic than in the movie, though hints of his inner conflict are still there. He does still take the hobbits to Osgiliath however.
• Smeagol is almost killed during the siege by a maddened Frodo and this is what causes Gollum to take control.

King

• Saruman’s death is kept for the theatrical cut.
• There is a scene of Denethor using the Minas Tirith Palantir.*
• The Grey Company, Elrond, Glorfindel, Haldir, and his sons appear at Edoras before the beacons are lit.
• Here Aragorn is given Anduril.
• Elrond gives a speech saying that it is time for old alliances to be reforged in order to convince Theoden to save Gondor.
• It works, and just as the news that the beacons are lit, the order to muster the Rohirrim is given.
• Rammas Echor, the large wall surrounding Minas Tirith, is kept.
• The Druedain from the books help lead the Rohirrim to Minas Tirith.*
• Frodo does not dismiss Sam on the walk up Cirith Ungol.
• However, Sam does get tempted by the Ring.*
• Aragon and the Grey Company walk the Paths of the Dead together.
• The King of the Dead makes it very clear to Aragorn that even he and his army cannot hold off Sauron forever even if they fight.
• After getting the Army of the Dead’s aid, Aragorn and the Grey Company rescue Imrahil of Dol-Aramoth from the Corsairs of Umbar. The latter thus joins Aragorn’s relief army.
• Gandalf is not defeated by the Witch-King.
• Instead of being purely Mumakil, the Harad army is also made up of cavalry.
• Aragorn still releases the Army of the Dead at the Pelennor Fields.
• Aragorn does not enter the city of Minas Tirith early as per the book, so the Houses of Healing sequence takes place outside the city.*
• Eoywn and Faramir’s meeting is kept for the theatrical cut.
• As Aragorn’s army passes through Ithilien, Legolas wonders at how beautiful the land must have been before Sauron’s resurgence. Imrahil notes it was, which hints at Legolas’ later title of Prince of Ithilien.*
• Aragorn’s army camping at the Morannon Slag-Hills is kept and forms a part of their strategy.
• The Mouth of Sauron sequence is kept for the theatrical cut. The Mouth manages to give the leaders of the West Sauron’s terms of submission, which they reject handily,
• Aragon does not kill the Mouth, Gandalf gives his glorious rebuke from the book instead.
• The rest of the surviving Fellowship, plus Arwen, Faramir and Eowyn, join the Hobbits in bidding farewell to Frodo, Gandalf, and Bilbo.
• Glorfindel and Haldir are also at the Grey Havens to depart for Valinor.
• The epilogues involving Legolas, Gimli, Eowyn Faramir is kept, just before Sam’s return to Rosie and his children. *

NOTE: Because of the earlier Hobbit film, Peter Jackson will delay working on King Kong until 2008.

Love this one too ! So many good additions and retentions. I particularly like the limitations of power expressed by the King of the Dead. Their overwhelmingly invincible appearance at the Pelennor Fields took on a Deus Ex Machina impact in the movie.