Burton K Wheeler
Moderator
According to wikipedia, the Nazis had a plan to invade Britain in 1940, but suspended it in favor of isolating Britain and preparing for their invasion of the Soviet Union. What if Hitler had gone ahead with it?
What if Nazi invasion of Britain in 1940?
- Thread starter Burton K Wheeler
- Start date
They would have gotten their asses kicked. The Germans didn't have the necessary resources to carry out an invasion (like landing boats, for instance). Plus, for the invasion to have been feasible, the Germans would have had to have consistently stuck to military targets, unlike in OTL where they switched to bombing cities just before the tipping point.
wormyguy
Banned
After the conquest of Britain, Goering finds that his pastries now are alarmingly stale. Unable to take the horror of stale pastries, he loses his mind and goes on a shooting rampage in which he kills the entire Nazi cabinet before turning the gun on himself. Meanwhile, Winston Churchill takes the opportunity to infiltrate Fortress Europe, pose as a German general, and take control of the shattered German government to "restore order." Two days later, Germany surrenders in the Treaty of Dublin.
c'mon, could have you picked a bigger cliche?
The Nazis establish a foothold on the English main land and prepare to move North towards London, the Nazi generals knew their plan was foolproof and nothing could stop them now... Or was there something?
General Dickheadinzie looked at the map for the last time before folding it up and handing it to an aid. "Yes," he thought to himself, "Operation Sealion is the single greatest military feat known to man. It could only fail if the Americans somehow foiled our plans by launching a one man offensive against us. Hmm, maybe I should wake Goering from the opium tent. Naaah..."
At that moment, the general heard a great commotion from the lead elements of his line. Seconds later, a stream of SS troopers ran past him and jumped over the cliffs of Dover ;}.
"What the Devil???" he barely had time to question himself before an apparition of the purest godlike rage made its way down his battle groups line tossing tanks to and fro. The general watched in childlike wonder as the superhuman being jumped up and dragged his biggest Zepplin from the sky.
"This can't be happening. I am dreaming." the bewildered general gasped.
"No you're not general." voiced the single handed hero, " It's just that no one fucks with the Gipper."
And that is the story of how the Americans sent Ronald Reagan to England to single handedly destroy the Nazis in operation Sealion. A history so secret, it couldn't be allowed out till now.
General Dickheadinzie looked at the map for the last time before folding it up and handing it to an aid. "Yes," he thought to himself, "Operation Sealion is the single greatest military feat known to man. It could only fail if the Americans somehow foiled our plans by launching a one man offensive against us. Hmm, maybe I should wake Goering from the opium tent. Naaah..."
At that moment, the general heard a great commotion from the lead elements of his line. Seconds later, a stream of SS troopers ran past him and jumped over the cliffs of Dover ;}.
"What the Devil???" he barely had time to question himself before an apparition of the purest godlike rage made its way down his battle groups line tossing tanks to and fro. The general watched in childlike wonder as the superhuman being jumped up and dragged his biggest Zepplin from the sky.
"This can't be happening. I am dreaming." the bewildered general gasped.
"No you're not general." voiced the single handed hero, " It's just that no one fucks with the Gipper."
And that is the story of how the Americans sent Ronald Reagan to England to single handedly destroy the Nazis in operation Sealion. A history so secret, it couldn't be allowed out till now.
Deleted member 5719
The first landings would almost certainly avoid the heavily defended Warmington-on-Sea area, as the Wehrmacht didn't like it up 'em.
They would probably also steer clear of Brighton, for similar reasons.
Burton K Wheeler
Moderator
The most likely first line of defense in Dorset would most likely be a plucky old lady who uses magical books given to her by Cockney Blitz babies to animate an army of museum pieces. Thoughts?
Deleted member 5719
The Germans would almost certainly try to bypass her like they did with the maginot line. Actually, moving the magic books to Dorset was Churchill's greatest strategic blunder, had the Germans landed, London's Portobello Road would have been wide open to their Blitzkrieg tactics.
The question is, would Churchill have fought on to the bitter end from Corfe Castle, or would he have sued for peace?
Burton K Wheeler
Moderator
The military analysis linked here suggests that defense in depth might not have been necessary given the strength of the British defenses. I'm no expert on the topic, but one would assume Churchill had some sort of backup plan, perhaps in the form of a major song and dance number, in case the Germans had succeeded.
We've forgotten about the British Wizarding Community. What would be their reaction to war and blitzkreig?
rommel and hans ulrich rudel will kick her ass all day. if it wasnt for hilter medling the Wehrmaht would kill 18 allied soliders for everyone lost!
Deleted member 5719
It is unlikely they would have noticed, between 1937 and 1951 the Wizarding community was mired in the brutal "Hubble-Bubbles", in witch over 15,000 wizards died.
The trigger for this brutal conflict was the banning of Elevatus Bronstein's 1936 blockbuster "Is it just me, or does Quidditch make no fucking sense at all? I mean is it a team game or is it individual, or what?".
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Hitler would turn into a giant worm and go swimming in the Atlantic Ocean. The tidal wave would specially destroy England but leave Ireland and Scotland intact.
Penis joke, giant worm.
Penis joke, giant worm.